KennythePirate’s guide to Typhoon Lagoon

I love water parks.  I usually arrive early in the day, and ride all the slides, then float around a lazy river and splash in the wave pool before taking a nap in a shady area.  My favorite among all the water parks I’ve visited is Typhoon Lagoon.  It’s beautiful, well themed, has some great slides and one of the best wave pools in the world.  I thought you might enjoy a tour of Typhoon Lagoon to get you ready for summer.

Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Entrance sign. The easiest way to find Typhoon Lagoon is to follow the signs to Downtown Disney (or Wikiwatchee Springs or waterever they are going to call the place in the future.) It’s not far away from Cirque du Solelil, but on the opposite side of the road.

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The entrance has a nautical theme. I came to the park one day about 12:30 and found a parking spot on the front row! Disney doesn’t park the cars, so empty spots are common all day long.
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You can take actual surfing lessons at Typhoon Lagoon.
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I buy the $99 annual pass and use my Disney Rewards points, so it actually costs me ZERO Dubloons! If you plan to visit water parks at least twice on your trip, The Water Parks and More option costs only a little more than a one day ticket.
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Ticket booths are out front followed by the RFID enabled scanners.
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Lagoona Gator, may he Rest in Peace!
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There’s a little food stand on the left as you enter. They want you to buy the refill mugs here, but DON’T, they are cheaper at the food service locations inside. We’ll talk about those mugs later.
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ACK! Choices! Which way should I choose? For a nice photo, go right. To actually enter the park, go left.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
See, I told you it would be a nice photo!
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This place is a wreck. It’s supposed to be though after the big Typhoon (Hurricane) blew through and destroyed everything to the point it would become a successful water park.
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There’s maps like this all over the park. Typhoon Lagoon is pretty easy to get around, it’s just a big circle. If you don’t know how to draw a circle, please visit the Magic of Disney Animation in Hollywood Studios first. It’s all in the shoulder!
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On the left you find this little hut. It has some little games for kids, because it’s where they bring them when you lose them after falling asleep in the lazy river and getting a third degree burn. Look, it’s a hidden Mickey!
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Straight ahead is a tips board with a bunch of stuff I didn’t read. I hope there wasn’t another Typhoon warning on there.
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On the right you find a souvenir shop. I know, you’re like, “What a souvenir shop in Disney World?!?!” Yes, it sells actual swimming stuff and lotions and creams for those lazy river lovers. It’s also where we go to rent our locker, so we don’t have to stand in line with the lemmings. I hate lines.
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You’ll see these boards all over the park. They lie. They are written in chalk by 6 year olds who were just drawing on the sidewalk moments earlier. What you need to know: Go to GANGPLANK FALLS FIRST! Then do the stuff nearby, then Crush n Gusher. Seems counter intuitive, but Gangplank loads Slowly. It’s like the Dumbo of the water world, but less fun.
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On the right you find the Dressin Rooms and lockers. Get wet before riding, so you don’t stick to the slide.

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See, I told you there were locker lemmings. You should believe me, I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express once.
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THIS is the best kept Disney Secret. Mini Donuts. Yummy, yummy, yummy. I like the White Chocolate dipping sauce, what about you?
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This is where Stitch and Lilo meet separately. Evidently, Lilo didn’t care for Stitch pretending to be her favorite singer of all time and filed a restraining order against the alien. Don’t believe me? You can see where they restrain him in the Magic Kingdom. It’s a lot of travelling back and forth between parks for him.  (They moved the surfboards next to the gift shop for 2014)
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Nothing says “Water park” like a temporary tatoo. I always opt for the fake abs and ripped biceps tatoos.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
It’s still early, but they are basting pretty nicely so far. WEAR SUNSCREEN office dwellers!
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More tips stuff. Who gets to decide that the sun is a level 8? Is it like controlling your home grill? My home grill tends to over flame on the right hand side too much.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Attempt 1 at a pretty picture
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
A little better, but not quite. You should have seen the number of people who were wondering why I was taking photos of a flower at a water park.
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Another sail map circle thingy, but this time they included pointers!
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I ignored the pointer and went straight.
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I found the first of many refill stations for those mugs I told you about. They are only valid for one day, so I guess you’ll need to buy one at Blizzard Beach to add to your Disney Cups collection that you take into the Value resort to fill for free. Hey, don’t be a hater, you know you do it. The refill doesn’t even have RFID! So 2000’s.
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Half these people were in line for free surf boards and the other half just followed them thinking there’s an attraction at the end of the line.
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You’ll just get photos of these menus. I’ve typed so many menus for the new Character Locator app that my hands were cramping.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Kenny, stop taking photos of menus and show us the park icon! Okay, okay, I’ll take pictures of the ship on a stick. Relax, I’m on vacation walking around a water park taking photos.
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Some coffee shop. I don’t like coffee, so I didn’t bother with the actual location.
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This is a surf bar. They sell drinks there.
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Told ya, drinks
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More drinks
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This location sells the two items necessary for human existence: Funnel Cakes and Cotton Candy. Try the cotton candy on the funnel cake while it’s still hot. I never have, but thought you might want to experiment.
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Simple menu
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There’s a water play area next to the lazy river and far from the kids area???  Looks like Gilligan built it.
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Shade! Kenny, there must be shade in this park, right? Well, if you arrive in the first hour, you can claim a shade spot near the watering hole. Otherwise, head over to Crush n Gusher, there’s a ton of good spaces there a couple hours after open. Or you can go all fru-fru and rent one of those little “cabanas” that gives you a towel and some bottled water for like $700.  Pay me $700 and I’ll wave a fan and feed you grapes.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
More icon photos please. You’re beginning to bore me.
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This is where Lagoona Gator used to live.
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Don’t be afraid, he won’t bite
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He lived here until the bugeteers cut the budget and now he’s moved on to greener swamps.
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Just dusty relics of days gone by.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Chill, I’m pumping out the icon photos as fast as my Sony RX100 will take them!
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Mom, i’m having so much fun getting roasted like a Cornish game hen. Could you put a little butter on my left shoulder?
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All the new props went to Fantasyland.
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It’s a food place!
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You can type it if you want, but I would just click and read it.
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Turkey Pesto??? Is that standard water park food?
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This place sells ice cream. Okay, they weren’t selling any ice cream, but they were open, unlike many of the booths for Flower and Garden in Epcot.
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I’ll have the Sundae please.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Even the boat gets angry when I don’t continually take it’s photo. Don’t blow your top!
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
That’s better, more relaxing.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Watch out! There’s a huge wave coming for you.
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See, early bird got the shade.
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Wait for it, wait, wait… It’s the backside of restrooms!
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We’re over by Crush n Gusher and there’s a little booth selling snacks.
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Got your refill cup?
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Picnic table / shade area for those who drag their chair from the beach.
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It’s the best water park ride in Walt Disney World! Many people would say it’s the giant slide at Blizzard Beach. Ride it once and tell me how many bruises you get on your backside from 172 mph downhill sliding. I’ll stick with the water roller coaster with tubes!
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Zoom function. Can the iPhone do that? Oh it can. Sorry
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
What about this artsy tree over hang stuff? Awesome, huh? I don’t get paid for this and you’re reading it for free.
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Even this wait time sign is a hoax! Those people were walking right on the ride with no wait. Well, there is the 15 minute stair climb. You’ll climb more stairs here than at home because your stair climber at home is in the basement or the corner of your room collecting dust.
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Calamity!
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These people look like they are having fun. You should see the ones getting off the huge slide at Blizzard Beach with the power wedgies.
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If I were going to work Photopass, it would have to be on a water attraction!
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I took a few cases of the bananas for the monkeys helping me program the wait times for the app.
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You can learn something EVERYWHERE in Walt Disney World.
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I’m going to send them a bill for placing this ad on the blog. 1.6 million views has to get me a few more bananas for the monkeys.
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Too many don’ts on the signs, just hold on and have fun!
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You have 3 fruit themes, each one turns and twists differently. They used to let 3 people ride together, but now it’s singles and doubles.
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Grab your boat and start climbing. Why don’t they have one of those auto boat loader things? So 2000’s!
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For the blog, I took the path less traveled. The handicapped path. Yup, that’s right, there’s a handicap entrance for this attraction.
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Fork lift!
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I hope this elevator doesn’t do that yo-yo thing like that one park.
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Pretty waterslide
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All the shade is gone now.
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More food
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Obligatory menu
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This one has food with ghosts!
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Menu
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Pictures for those who are word challenged
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More restrooms
Typhoon Lagoon shark reef at Walt Disney World
This is where you go to swim with real sharks…man eaters! If you’re a female, you’re okay.
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Hungry! Feed me!
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Enter here to receive your free goggles and fins.
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Check in for the “Reef Adventure” where you pay money for an air tank that you won’t need in 3 1/2 feet of water.
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Thought I was joking?
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Do people actually go to a water park to buy pearls?
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Okay, I’m supposed to tell you now that the sharks aren’t man or woman eaters. They are cute little bunny fish that swim near you and tickle your feet.
Typhoon Lagoon shark reef at Walt Disney World
Full view of the shark reef.
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There’s a few more shady spots near the Shark Reef.
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More arrows
Humunga Kowabunga Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Combo photo of a waterslide and park icon!
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Splash! This ride is called Humunga Kowabunga. It’s the power wedgie of Typhoon Lagoon.
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More lies!
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Start climbing. It’s a long trek to the Humunga and the Storm Slides. They designed it with the path going up and down, up and down. Requires a lot more work to slide here.
Storm Slides Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
End of the Storm Slides. This one moves slower, so no wedgies.
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The next photo is funnier.
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Told ya
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Climb again for another ride. Storm slides actually offers 3 different experiences. If you do Humunga and all 3 versions, you’ll climb 4 times, have a heart rate of 172 and need one of those soda refills.
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Park icon from EVERY viewpoint
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Marriage is already on the rocks.
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Storm Slides from above
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
A little more artistic
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View from the peak
Typhoon Tilly at Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Up close view of Tilly
Typhoon Tilly at Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Up closer view
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Peering down upon the lazy river
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There’s lots of beautiful flowers at Typhoon Lagoon. It really adds to the relaxing feel.
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We’ll follow the sign and go left.
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One of the world’s largest wave pools
Wave Pool at Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Makes really large waves that will drive you into the bottom of the pool close to the end. Get in the middle of the pool to body surf the waves.
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Pretty flower
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Good deals on used boats
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Waterfall
Typhoon Lagoon at Walt Disney World
Look, it’s a pretty flower AND a blurred background.
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Without the flash
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Remember two things: Ride THIS first and the signs lie. I’d bet you’ll wait at least 45-60 minutes from this point.
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Food & Drink place
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Menu
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Looks like the tourists are up to medium well about now.
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In all honesty, these slides are boring.
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Well, he had fun.
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These are boring too.
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If you end a water ride with no splash, it’s not a good sign.
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Kids area
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It’s a kids area, tried to blur it intentionally so I don’t look like some creeper. Don’t worry lifeguard, just a blogger here.
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Kid had to push himself all the way down the slide.
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Hope you enjoyed the tour. It’s time to end it with a purple flower.

4 thoughts on “KennythePirate’s guide to Typhoon Lagoon”

  1. No comments? Your commentary under the pics was hilarious. I’ve never been to Typhoon Lagoon, although I think we’re going to try Blizzard Beach this summer. I travel (“travel” makes it sound like a lot more than it really is, since we’re just up in Gainesville) with my sister and her two year old son, and I’ve heard BB is more child friendly.

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